Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Day 8 - Steam Heat

When it comes to Trailer-Park I like to think of myself as an innovator.  I've been waiting for parts to arrive, hopefully today,  for the defuncto-facto furnace out here in the 5th-wheel. We've been  stayin pretty cozy , in spite of the nugget-numbing temperatures outside, - all through an age old technology.

 Did I burn the kitchen chairs in the fireplace? Did I set the henhouse on fire. Why no!  I utilized STEAM HEAT Newton...and the magic of electricity!

My first line of defense consists of  two 1500 watt electric heaters from Wal-Mart  that have to be kept on medium so they don't throw the breaker.  They're not really enough to do the job below 40 degrees but it keeps the chill off somewhat.

The coup-de-gras` in the war on hypothermia was a stroke of genius that came to me between shivers. An alignment of opportunities, if you will.

 I don't do dishes as often as the health department says you should. Every few days is not uncommon.  When my creative muse shows up in the little french maid skirt, the housekeeper splits.  I don't care.  I think she pees in my coffee.

It occurred to me that were I to heat water on the stove for heat,  I could also utilize same water to wash the mountain of plates, bowls, spatulas, spoons, and coffee cups that appear to be breeding on every available inch of counter surface in my galley region. The undeniable odor of something unrecognizable emanating from my little kitchen sink, (a subtle aroma with pungent overtones), tell's me the time has come. It's been awhile and I do have soap:-)

I filled my old cast iron Dutch oven up with water and put the matching cast iron lid  (Lodge brand 14" low-profile skillet/lid - available at Cabela's), on the Dutch oven and, Voila!!!, we have a radiator.  I even use mine to keep the coffee pot warm.  Works like a charm and my skin is glowing.  Had no idea I needed to moisturize this badly :-)

Remember this little tip the next time your furnace quits, and the heating guy poops in your soup, when he tells you it's going to cost $175,000 and a viable ovum,  to repair yours.  Head down to Cabela's and get a bunch of Sterno and some Dutch ovens. (with lids - fire extinguisher wouldn't hurt either) . You'll be toasty and moist in no time.  Gotta be careful with the hair products though - you will frizz!.

BRING YOUR PETS INSIDE WHEN IT"S COLD!!!!  Don't be stupid - that's a lot of usable heat right there.  When the temperatures drop into the Sub-a-Rican range, not only do Elvis and June warm my heart - they also keep my legs, butt, back, and rib-cage warm. ..  When the heat goes out your dog is  not just your pal - he's your heat source. Even the little ones make great  foot and hand warmers.

For the most part, You're gonna wanna go big.  A good sized St. Bernard, for example, is about a 12,000 BTU unit depending on the fuel you use. (Multiple units are recommended for larger structures.) With a single dog, and  for as little as $35.00 a day, you can heat two sofa's, a laundry room, and an Ultra-king Serta   (with air coils).

If you're crafty you can also weave beautiful alpaca-like sweaters for the whole family.  Use supplemental units for additional furniture and family.

 "Feed them, love them, remember that they're really here to take are of us. We're the one's that are blessed"

Tonight you will find me at Revolution Brewing in downtown Paonia, Co.  Gretchen and Mike King own the joint and they make the most incredibly tasty  beer.  They're two of the nicest folks on the planet as well as their staff.  It's a gig I enjoy immensely each and every time I play.  If you're in the neighborhood , stop by.  I hope to reflect tonight on the demise of Tupperware as an icon,  in correlation with dwindling world supplies of macrame.

I knew when I was a kid that I wanted to play music all the time.  I wanted it so bad it hurt.  It hurt a little bit all the way here , and I never dreamed it would look like this - but I am certainly not complaining.  Love has been more than kind to me, and I'm the richest cat on the planet that nobody knows about.  Noone wants to steal what makes me rich,  'cause I'll give that shit away just as soon as look at ya.....and we'll all smile about that..

Peace out
"Don't take any wooden nickels"
"Until manyana"

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