Sunday, February 8, 2015

Day 26? -"Made In America"

In some of the more sophisticated places I find myself occasionally, ordering coffee in English just shows you're uneducated. As a point of proper decorum one must become at least conversational with terms completely irrelevant in neighborhood Conoco's  just a few short years ago. Vente, Grande, Latte, Mocha, Italiano, and my favorite - Au Lait,  I practiced some at home on Elvis. ("Au Lait down 'n shut up.  You're standing on my nuggets.")

I have to go fix my Kia (Korean) today so, in preparation,  I'm going to treat myself to a brioche(French) and a Pannini (Italian). Then I'm gonna go all hog-wild European with a Vente Mocha Italiano Latte with Crema Mexicana and crushed Vanilla beans hand carried on the backs of small Tibetan children from Madagascar.

  I'm going to drink it from a decorator Sippee-Cup made in China (loaded with PCB's, LDL's, M&M's, & DDT). I will take my lunch-time repast at one of the most popular Sushi/Fondue restaurants in the area, where after  giving up on ever deciphering the food descriptions on the menu in Vietnamese(?)  - I will pass through a Swiss-themed lobby hung with pictures of beach fronts in Guadalajara , walking across gorgeous Grecian marble floors in to the mens room.  I will secure myself in my own private stall (Finnish Steel) using hardware manufactured in Germany (they're so precise).

When I've finished what I came there for I will fight frantically for approximately 53 seconds with the toilet-paper dispenser holding the jumbo roll that never unrolls right - single ply - cheap.Rough!  Then I will finally have in my hand something made in the USA - manufactured in this beautiful country I love so dearly. Don't get aggressive with this stuff, or you will learn to keep those nails trimmed.

I believe the time has come to examine ourselves. And I don't mean a quick "feelie". I believe we're in danger of being "pigeon-holed"

 In our defense, there is a good bit of security in the toilet-paper strategy.  This world will never run out of asses that need wiped, and, if we can keep those costs down, we might be able to at least keep some of the Wal-Marts open. Perhaps even keep John Boehners tan rockin'.

Happy Sunday everybody:-)  Keep smilin' - I'm still crazy as a pet coon and relatively happy about it.

"Peace Out"
"Don't take any wooden nickels"
until Manyana

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